


New Year's Eve

by What_we_are



Series: Holidays [2]
Category: Breaking Bad
Genre: Cute Kids, M/M, Talking about torture, talking about feelings
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-02
Updated: 2020-05-10
Packaged: 2021-03-02 07:35:07
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,417
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23967730
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/What_we_are/pseuds/What_we_are
Summary: The couple quietly rings in 2011.
Relationships: Mike Ehrmantraut/Jesse Pinkman
Series: Holidays [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1727983
Comments: 7
Kudos: 11





	1. Chapter 1

Mike poured milk into the bowl of pancake mix and stirred it with a fork because Jesse was already using the whisk. 

“What do you wanna do for New Year’s Eve?” 

“I don’t know,” Jesse answered as he beat the eggs. “There’s a late night AA meeting/movie night, but I’d rather hang out with you.” 

The sausage links were already sizzling away on the stove. They had a whole breakfast feast going.

“Should we go somewhere or something?” Mike asked.

Jesse shrugged.“Naw. Let’s invite over Maggie and the kids for the daytime.”

Mike nodded.

Jesse said, “I mean, if you’re cool with that. I usually spend, like, two days a week with them, but that’s when I was on my own.”

“No, it’s good to socialize. I enjoy their company.” 

\----

Emily played a 'draw four' card as her Uno, and on her next turn went out with a wild card. 

Jesse said, “Just goes to show you -- this game is all luck.”

Maggie and Mike laughed. 

The cabin was plenty warm, but Jesse went and fiddled with the wood stove. Maggie shuffled the cards. 

“Would you guys like more apple cider?” Mike offered. 

All three of them said, “Yes, please,” so he took their mugs one at a time and ladled hot apple cider into them. He filled his own mug and Jesse’s, and had a seat. 

Maggie started dealing another hand. 

Jesse came back in the room and put his hand on Mike’s shoulder while they all watched Maggie deal. Mike tensed at first, but then thought -- what the hell. 

Everett said, “You can’t have babies because you’re both boys.”

Maggie put a hand on her son’s arm as if to stop him. 

Before she could say anything, Mike said, “That’s true. Plus, I’m too old to raise a baby.”

“You’re not too old,” Everett said. 

Emily asked, “Did you ever have kids?”

Mike was glad he wasn’t drinking; sustained lying wasn’t his strong suit, even clear-headed. Or maybe it was lying to children that made it so hard. He said, “No, I wanted to, but I never did.” He mentally reviewed his backstory, like click, click, clicking through slides: dead wife, no kids, 38 years a handyman at various hotels and businesses, Vietnam Vet, etc. 

Maggie said to her son, “Not everybody has to have kids. Some people just like to hang out with other grown-ups, and some people, like John and Johnny, like to spend time with kids without having their own. It’s all okay.”

Everett didn’t look convinced, which amused Mike. Leave it to a kid to think that kids ought to be the center of every adult’s world. Mike's thoughts drifted to Matty and Kaylee, but he pulled them back. Everett was kind of right, Mike thought, but in this world, the world Mike was left with, all he had for family was Jesse. 

\---

Mike and Jesse ended up snuggled on the couch watching some New Year’s Eve pop music countdown special that neither of them understood. 

Mike ran his hand over Jesse’s buzzed head. “Can tonight be the night?”

“For what?”

“Sharing your bed.”

“Why is that important to you? Cause it’s normal?”

Mike sighed, but not in frustration or anything. He was weary. After a while he said, “Everett was funny today, wasn't he?

Jesse turned off the tv volume with the remote. He looked Mike in the eye. “Do you know that I love you? Whether I can sleep, or fuck, or communicate properly. Whether this thing has a chance or not . . . I just want you to know.”

Mike took a deep breath. “I know, and I love you, too." They held all their hands together between them. Mike went on, “You don’t know how badly I used to want to take you away from Albuquerque, away from that whole situation. I used to dream about the two of us here, or in Mexico somewhere. Now we have it. We have peace and quiet, new names--” 

“A new face” Jesse joked, gesturing at his scars. 

“You’re still handsome”

Jesse looked embarrassed. “I know I used to be. I don’t feel ugly or anything. I just feel conspicuous. Like everyone who sees me wonders what happened.” 

Mike looked down at their intertwined hands. “Yeah, maybe they do. But like you said, people around here don’t ask questions about your past.”

Jesse stood up and turned off the tv manually. He paced around as he spoke. “I didn’t tell Maggie. I know she’s curious. And I know she drilled it into to the kids that they can never ask me.”

Mike couldn't think of anything to say. More than anything, he wanted to be asleep with Jesse sleeping in his arms. 


	2. Chapter 2

Mike took a chance and asked, “Did they use a knife or a whip?”

“Todd used a knife. None of the rest of them touched me.”

Mike was surprised by that. He thought the gang would act as a whole. After a while, he said, “The best thing Walter ever did was kill him.” 

Jesse was looking at his pink salt lamp on the shelf. “He didn’t kill Todd. I did. I strangled him with my chains.”

Mike wasn’t sure if he should stand up and go to Jesse. The cabin was small, but Jesse seemed far away. 

Jesse went on, “It was all Todd. The other ones would talk shit, but they knew I belonged to him. It started out ‘cause I was a rat and he needed to know what I’d spilled, but it went on. He was always so calm. It wasn’t like if I pissed him off, it was like if he thought I needed reminding. . .” Jesse shook his head. “He’d move fast to kick me or punch me, but then he’d be slow again with the knife.” Jesse turned towards Mike, “He designed his face.”

“He didn’t design shit. He hurt you, and you’re healing,” Mike countered. “We can get you some cream or something to speed it up.”

Jesse finally came back and sat on the couch close to Mike. “I don’t want to talk about this anymore.”

“Okay.” Mike looked at his watch. “You wanna watch the ball drop or whatever they do on that stupid show?”

“Sure.” Jesse clicked on the tv. 

A glittery, messy woman named Keisha had the number one song of the year. She sang about partying. Mike had never been a party guy, even in his day. He thought about when Jesse’s house was turned into a non-stop drug party. Jesse was ages younger then, before the shit really started hitting the fan. He was smart though, smart enough to see through Mike’s theatrics about the cash thief. Smart enough to destroy his self only by degrees. While Mike watched the music video his thoughts turned to those days and he actually smiled. 

“Remember when I called you a ‘little shit’?”

Jesse turned to him. “Of course, I jacked off about that forever.”

The stylish people on the tv started counting down from ten. 

Jesse and Mike didn’t wait till zero to start kissing. It started gentle enough, but Jesse kept kissing him harder, so Mike gave it back to him. Jesse pulled Mike by the shirt to lie on top of him. The couch was long enough, but it took a little time to settle and get comfortable with Mike between Jesse’s legs. Mike turned his attention to Jesse’s neck. He kissed and sucked and gently bit. 

He murmured in Jesse’s ear that he was beautiful.

Jesse’s grip on him tightened and he moaned. 

Mike came up for air and looked at his lover’s face. He smiled and Jesse smiled back. 

Jesse asked, “Ya wanna?”

“What? Take a pill?” Mike asked.

Jesse smiled bigger and nodded.

“I’m not ready,” Mike answered. “I don’t even know if it’ll work. I haven’t tried one yet.”

“Really? Aren’t you curious?”

Mike shifted his weight back on his knees so he could use his hands to unbutton Jesse’s wool work shirt. There was a thermal shirt under that one though. 

“Mike, you want to try it at some point, right?”

“Yeah. I’m just tired.” 

“No pressure. I just wanna make you feel good too, ya know?” 

“I know.”

They kissed until they were both sleepy and Mike's arms were tired from holding himself up.

Mike said, "I'm gonna hit the hay. You're very welcome to join me."

"Not right now, but sometime. 2011 is going to be our year."


End file.
